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Caroline Hurry - Caroline Hurry

Instead of boasting take your cues from her conversation. - Hysterical Bertha

If you want that skirt, you have to know how to flirt! Subtlety is king. An ill-timed remark or crude innuendo will puncture your repartee faster than a fork in a soufflé. A successful flirt lives in the moment and takes his cue from the flirtee. He has no need to boast about his accomplishments or possessions. Rather, he uses her conversation as a reference point and establishes a rapport. She feels so familiar with him she opens up like a tulip in the spring.

One way to get her to feel comfortable with you is to mirror her movements and match her breathing. Don't do it to the point of being creepy, but enough to give a sense that your bodies are in sync. Doing the same thing is a powerful bonding agent. According to neuro linguistic programming, people are visual, auditory or tactile. Visual people say: “I see what you mean.” Auditory people say: “I hear what you’re saying”. Tactile people say; “That feels right”. Determine which type you’re dealing with and match your speech and behavior patterns accordingly.

If you fancy a woman, stick around long enough for her to know you're serious, but not so long she starts to wonder whether you've thrown your back out. Then pluck the cherry out of her Pimms cocktail, drop your voice two octaves and ask in your smoothest baritone: “Were you going to eat this, or may I?” If she's not drinking a Pimms, you'll have to improvise.

Here are a few more ideas:

Maintain eye contact

Look at her for three seconds and smile as though you are sharing a private joke. Hold the contact just long enough to give her time to respond. A blatant stare will make you look crazed. If her pupils expand when she returns your gaze, you're winning.

Check out the space between you

The more she likes you the more she’ll let you into her personal space. Move in a little closer to her. If she backs away, she’s a no-go zone and you still have work to do.

The accidental toucher

Once you've established eye contact and the body language is welcoming, you can move on to "accidental" touching. Casually brush up against her and maintain contact for longer than strictly required. The inference is far more erotic than the actual touch, so it would be wrong to grapple at any part of her anatomy. Don't prolong the contact beyond what feels natural for the situation.

The purposeful toucher

The best touches are not sexual but suggest possibility. For example, if the conversation is going well, you might run a hand lightly down her upper back. If she doesn’t move away, she’s interested. Enjoy the tease. Keep it light Stop the motion just long enough to let her know she can move away. No woman likes a too-firm hand clamped on her shoulder.

Make her laugh

Women love a sense of humor. A little grin or wisecrack tells us you're playful, easygoing, and secure. Dark brooding Heathcliff types are so passé. No one likes a misery guts. Making her laugh is the best way to develop an affinity with her. Tease her by telling her she’s bossy, cheeky or saucy, but you’re never allowed to call her loud, aggressive or ugly.

Dress the part

If you want an elegant woman, look elegant. A girl who likes hiking and dirt biking will accept more casual attire. Mix and match. Wear jeans and a casual shirt one day, then try a sharp suit and see how women respond to you.

Practice

Today you have to get at least one woman’s telephone number. Clear your mind, take a deep breath – pretend you’re an actor – walk up to her and say: “Hi. I’m rushing to meet some friends but I know I will kick myself all day if I don’t do this. I think you’re gorgeous. Can I have your telephone number?”

Feel free to deviate from the script a little but persevere. If she rejects you, you have to do it again and again. Go on, have fun with it! You’ll amaze yourself at the results.

Casanova always persisted until he got what he wanted. Persistence can make a girl feel like a princess. Just don’t make a nuisance of yourself. Make your interest clear, but not so clear she is forced to take out a restraining order against you.

Once you have her phone number, send her an SMS: “Hey Gorgeous ... feel like some curry? I'm not usually that big on chili but there is this new place that I’d like to check out. If things get too hot you can always hose me down later. LOL.”

Then let her respond to that and let you know when she’s free …